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Hilarious Office Pranks...Make sure u watch the last one it is ridiculous!!!

Life Changing Water!!!

Afterwork Drink of The Day....Royally

"Royal F**K"

Ok all I have to say is Southern Comfort. This is one of my favorite whiskeys, and it is pretty smooth. Take that and a few other liqours and you are drinking like royalty. This is another one of my favorite sexy sounding drinks. Today's afterwork drink is the "Royal F**k." And I will let you know what you need to make one, ok here we go.

- 1 oz Southern Comfort
- 1 oz Peach Schnapps
- 1 oz Rasberry Juice

Okay now go get your shaker. Put some ice in that b*tch, pour that sh*t up. Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em. Get your cocktail glass, your shot glass, your coffe mug, whatever the h*ll you drink out of. Drink up, enjoy.....LOL. I'm so stupid, I'm drunk right now guys, good night.

Funny, Weird News Sunday

Shoplifter hides three pounds of bacon in his pants....

--A man was detained at a local grocery store after employees noted that he was walking around the store "looking suspicious." They then saw him concealing a 48-ounce package of bacon in the front of his pants.

When he was stopped by employees, the 22-year-old Fort Walton Beach man ran to the back of the store and dumped the bacon, according to his arrest report.

He was charged with retail theft and resisting property recovery by a retail merchant.

Stealing bacon, seriously. Getting arrested for stealing bacon is sad. So sad.

Afterwork Drink of The Day.....9/11/09

The Leg Spreader

Today's afterwork drink special is the "Leg Spreader." It is not for the faint at heart this drink will put some hair on your chest, I'm tellin you. I love it, this is my new s**t right here. I am all about getting where I'm going as fast as possible, rather I'm in a car or just drinkin. This is like a Lamborghini to your blood stream, you can feel the liqour flowing through your veins. Nice and warm, aaaaahhhh! Ok let me stop, here is what you need to make one. It's straight liqour, ok here we go.

- 1 oz Tequila

- 1 oz Vodka

- 1 oz Gin

- 1 oz Rum

Ok now you just pour the liqours in a shot glass and drink up. And make sure if you are out you stay where your are until a cab comes if you drove. If you are drinking at a friends house, just spend the night. You will not be in any position to be driving, Im serious. Don't end up like my dumb a** of a brother and get locked up for a day for acting stupid and getting pulled over. Don't be a dumb person, I hate dumb people. Ok, ok I'm done. I'm out!!!

"Virgin Pussy"

Ok keeping with my drink theme of sex, today's drink is the "Virgin Pussy." Now there is nothing better than that, literally. The drink thoough, not my favorite. You try it though, I dont care for Cinnamon Schnapps. Good thing I only got a mini bar bottle of it. I am going to drink because I like to drink, but that's it. Anyways, if you want to try it here is what you need to make your own "Virgin Pussy." I love saying that, "Virgin Pussy" it has an awesome ring to it right. Ok, ok here we go.

- 1 oz Watermelon Schnapps

- 1 oz Cinnamon Schnapps

- 1 Pinch of sugar

Just pour both Schnapps and add a pinch of sugar. Ice is optional, I suggest it. If you want to be bartender garnish with a stick of cinnamon. Drink up, have fun and let me know what you think. I'm ooooouuuutttt!!!

9/9/09 - Afterwork Drink of the Day....sexy

"Sex Appeal"

I know all of the drinks thus far have been pretty much sex related. Well that is what I am all about and so is about 90% of the rest of the world. We are sex driven beings, an our drinks should be sex related also. I am composing a list of drinks that are almost all sex related, so enjoy.

Todays drink ladies and gents is the "Sex Appeal." Here is what you need to make it.

- 1/2 oz White Rum

- 1/2 oz Coconut Rum

- 1/2 oz Melon Liqueur

- 1/2 oz Peach Schnapps

- 1/2 oz Blue Curacao

- Fill with Sour Mix

- Add Splash of Lemonade

- Garnish with lemon slice

Ok now you have what you need. Here is what you do with it. Mix the two rums first. Then add the melon liqueur, peach schnapps, and blue curacao. Pour in the sour mix and add the dash of lemonade. I didn't mention it before, but you should probably have some ice in the glass to begin with. Garnish and enjoy.

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Drink of the Day....Emmm Redheads

"RedHeaded Slut"

Yo this drink is the motherf**king sh*t. I love it. It has Jagermeister, jagermeister is good. Me like, me like. Ok let me stop being an idiot. Today's drink is the "Redheaded Slut." Ok and here is what you need.

- 1 1/2 oz Jagermeister
- 1 1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
- Fill with Cranberry Juice

Ok here is what you do first. Take a shot glass and pour some Jagermeister, then down that. That is just your ice breaker. To give you that nice warm feeling in your chest. Oooh yeah, burn so good. Ok now for the slut, just mix in a shot glass or two and shoot em up. Hope you enjoy the crap out of yourself.

Japan's next first lady says she rode spaceship
Former actress also claims Tom Cruise was Japanese in a previous life

TOKYO - Japan's next prime minister might be nicknamed "the alien," but it's his wife who claims to have had a close encounter with another world.
"While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year.
"It was a very beautiful place and it was really green."

Yukio Hatoyama is due to be voted in as premier on Sept. 16 following his party's crushing election victory over the long-ruling Liberal Democratic Party Sunday.
Miyuki, 66, described the extraterrestrial experience, which she said took place some 20 years ago, in a book entitled "Very Strange Things I've Encountered."
Been to VenusWhen she awoke, Japan's next first lady wrote, she told her now ex-husband that she had just been to Venus. He advised her that it was probably just a dream.
"My current husband has a different way of thinking," she wrote. "He would surely say 'Oh, that's great'."
Yukio Hatoyama, 62, the rich grandson of a former prime minister, was once nicknamed "the alien" for his prominent eyes.
Miyuki, also known for her culinary skills, spent six years acting in the Takarazuka Revue, an all-female musical theater group. She met the U.S.-educated Yukio while living in America.
A strong believer in spiritualism, Hatoyama said in a TV appearance earlier this year she met U.S. actor Tom Cruise — in a previous life.
"I have a dream that I still believe will come true, which is to make a film in Hollywood," she told a TV talk show in May. "The lead actor is Tom Cruise, of course. Why? Because I know he was Japanese in a previous life.
Cruise encounter"I was with him then. So he would recognize me when I see him and say 'long time, no see!'" she said, though cautioned the program's young interviewer not to take her seriously.
Cruise starred in the 2003 film "The Last Samurai," which was set in Japan.
"I also eat the sun," Hatoyama said on the program, looking up with her eyes closed, raising her arms high as if she was tearing pieces off an imaginary sun. "Like this, hum, hum, hum. It gives me enormous energy."
She also has had a "Miracle Interview" column in the monthly spiritual magazine "Mu." Her columns were published last year in a book called "Most Bizarre Things I've Encountered," a compilation of interviews with 26 prominent people, including writers, scholars and culinary experts revealing their strange or spiritual experiences.

Late Night Drink Of The Day....

"Hummer"

Tonight's drink is the "Hummer." It is great for, uhh, umm. It's great for whenever. It's like an orgy in your mouth. I had like 3 of them and didn't realize I was toasty until about the 3rd one. This is not a quick buzz type of drink. You try it and you be the judge. Here is what you need.

- 1 oz Coffee Liqueur
- 1 oz Light Rum
- 2 Scoops Vanilla Ice Cream

Ok now you just need to blend all the ingredients in an electric blender at a low speed. Only blend it for a short while, pour in a glass and drink up.

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Afterwork Drink of The Day, Dirty.....

"Dirty Nipple"

Today's afterwork drink is brought to you by a liquor cabinet near you, not mine. Anyways, it's called the "Dirty Nipple." I love these kind of drinks, the sexier the name the better tasting it is. Also, it will more than likely get you stumbling over yourself a lot quicker too. I am known for my drunken moments, but I digress. Ok so here is what you need.

- Kahlua

- Sambuca

- Bailey's Irish Cream

This is another layered shot. First pour the Sambuca, then Kahlua and Bailey's. This drink goes down easy, and will sneak up on you quick. It tastes like coffee so you can put a few away in no time. Be careful though, those sneaky drinks are the most dangerous. Drink Responsibly and often. I am a drink at home kind of guy so I have no worries, for the rest of you, GOOD LUCK! I'm Out!!!

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Ridiculous News from Tampa, FL...

Deputies: Cheating husband's faked kidnapping leads to manhunt

TAMPA - Wikler Moran-Mora texted his wife to say he had been kidnapped and wouldn't be let go until he gave his captors money.
His worried wife called law enforcement.

He texted her again, saying, "Don't call, take it easy, they said they will let me go," and "Everything is alright, I'll be home soon," a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office report states. After a full-scale manhunt, deputies tracked him down. Turns out, it was a hoax – Moran-Mora faked his kidnapping so he could cheat on his wife, sheriff's spokesman J.D. Callaway said.
The incident began shortly after midnight Wednesday. About 6 a.m. Wednesday, Moran-Mora, 38, of Tampa, was arrested and charged with giving a false report to law enforcement. He has been released on $500 bail.

Twenty deputies — including canine units — searched for Moran-Mora on Wednesday morning.
Deputies traced Moran-Mora through his cell phone and found him at a 7-Eleven on West Waters Avenue. He told deputies he is a church elder for a Seventh Day Adventist church on Nebraska Avenue and had sent his wife the texts even though he had never been in danger.
Moran-Mora declined to comment today other than to say the situation with his wife has been resolved. His wife said she had nothing to do with what happened but confirmed she received text messages from him. Callaway said the search cost $4,000. "Thank God we didn't have a legitimate emergency that would have required those resources," he said.

News Channel 8 reporters Chip Osowski and Katie Coronado contributed to this report. Reporter Josh Poltilove can be reached at (813) 259-7691.
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Afterwork Drink of The Day

"Black Orgasm"

I love the names of these drinks. There are many more to come. But this is the drink of the day, and it is ridiculous. I like it, it kind of reminds me of umm. Ummmm, well I don't know you try it and let know. Here is how you make it and what you need.

- 1 shot of Sloe Gin
- 1 shot of Blue Curacao
- 1 shot of Peach Schnapps
- 1 shot of Absolut Vodka or any other Vodka

Just pour, stir and get smashed. Maybe afterwards you can give someone a real orgasm, any color combination. And this drink gives you energy as well, for when you need that STAMINA!!!

I'm out for now, look forward to many more ways to get drunk after a hard day at work.
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Afterwork Drink of The Day, Oooooh....

"Quick F**K"

This drink is amazing and it is just like it's name. It will quickly f**k you up. And on top of that it actually tastes freaking awesome. You gotta try it. Here is what you need to make it.

Ingredients:
- 1 cl or 10 ml of Bailey's Irish Cream
- 1 cl or 10 ml of Kahlua
- 1 cl or 10 ml of Midori Melon Liqueur

Ok now you have what you need. Lets mix this bad boy. It's easy all you need is a couple of shot glasses. The picture above has it set up with Kahlua first, then the melon liqueur, and last the Bailey's. I like to add the Bailey's first, then the Kahlua, and the Melon Liqueur last. It really doesn't matter to me as long as the liqour is in the glass.

There you have it a "Quick F**k". Enjoy, remember friends don't let friends drive drunk. Give me those keys at the door, call a cab, whatever. Im out.....
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Oh My GOD, Work!!!

"Have you seen my stapler?" I love this movie, and anyone who works in a cubicle can relate to this dude. I don't have TPS reports but, there is always something. Why do I keep getting the same email about the same process over and over again. I don't think we are in the 1st grade here, Jesus help me. What is with the break schedule. What the heck can you do in 30 minutes? You can't have lunch. You can scarf down some food, but that's not a lunch break. That is a race against the clock, trying to see who can get heartburn the fastest, yay. Even prisoners get an hour for recreation, am I not as important than a prisoner. I am free and I only get 30 minutes. Something is wrong with that. Anyway whatever, hey tell me something. Who's behind I have to kiss to get a better position? Just curious, any suggestions.....
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